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Friday, November 13, 2009

Differences between men and women

Relationships :
First of all, a man doesn't call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis".When a relationship ends,a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she'll get on her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go.Six months after the break-up,at 3.00am on a Saturday nite,he will call and say, "I just wanted to let u know that u've ruined my life, and i'll never forgive u, and i hate u, and u're totally floozy.But i want u to know there's awez a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate U/I Love U" drunken phone call,that 99% of all men have made at least once.

Sex :
Women prefer 30-45 minutes of foreplay.Men prefer 30-45secs of foreplay.Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.ish ish..

Bathroom :
A man has at most 6 items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel.The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Going out :
When a man says he's ready to go out, it means he's ready to go out.When a woman says she's ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup.

Mirrors :
Men are vain.They will check themselves out in the mirror.Women are ridiculous.They will check out their reflections in any shiny surfaces.mirrors,spoons,store windows,toasters,cars,etc.

DIrections :

If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings,she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.Men consider this as weakness.Men will never stop and ask for directions.Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like i've found a new way to get there".

Admitting mistakes :
Women will sumtimes admit making mistakes.The last man who admitted that he was wrong was Gen. George Custer.

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